their mothers. we asked them to read the lyrics aloud. it's fun. now, wiz kaliffa is one of the world's most famous rap artists. tonight, his mother recites the lyrics to his song work hard, play hard. >> hi, i'm am wizkaliffa's mom, girl, you know i'm a star. we used to buy rounds, but now we buy the bar. last year they had to ask, now they know who we are. [ bleep ] walk into the building, i own the building. you can tell by who i am by who i'm on the phone with. yes, talking about [ bleep ], too busy jacking my swag. need to [ bleep ] around, get your own car, get your own clothes, get your own smoke. get your own [ bleep ], you

ain't wrecking my game, get your own lick. that is my baby cam, i'm never calling you wiz. >> jimmy: i knew wiz wasn't his real name. and this is the fifth day of shark week on discovery channel. somehow the shark wound up on the subway in new york. it is true. it is a very scary day to be a rat on the subway today. the shark was dead, how it got there, nobody knows. maybe the sharknado. i don't know. one passenger said it was the craziest thing he had ever seen on the subway in new york. and that is really saying something. one guy took a bunch of pictures with the shark. and even went so far as to give the shark a cigarette and a can of red bull. he took like 75 pictures of the shark with different props, and put a metro card to get in.

some people said it was disrespectful, but he said certain things were disrespectful, but adding a card was not. and as a rule of thumb, anything you do to a corpse is disrespectful. yes, thank you. although he was just following the mta protocol, saying if you see something, do something stupid. some people thought it was a publicity stunt for shark week. it wasn't, i tell you what i think it was, the sharks learning how to use public transportation, like when the raptors learned how to use public transportation. and open doors, nobody is safe anymore. and this happened at a race track in san diego. as a souvenir of the race, they shoot video and mounted a camera on the dashboard so when you get home you can watch yourself like

this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she looks like that is the way japanese animate white people. have you ever seen anyone scream with their eyes before? that is -- tyra banks calls it streising. and is she having fun? her visine button must be insane. and there you go. [ cheers and applause ] this is funny, too. someone in norway heard a car honking for a long period of time so they decided to go down and investigate. and this is what they found. [ beeps ] [ honks ]

>> jimmy: they are very impatient. that is a horn dog, i think. i have excellent news. it is thursday night, we have a tradition around here, it is thursday night, time for a tribute to the fcc, where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. >> got some bad news today, closer bobby parnell goes on the dl with a herniated [ bleep ]. >> this experience has been amazing, i want to [ bleep ]. >> you do this, too, and hear the director yell [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> alex rodriguez, the biggest ever [ bleep ] in american sports. >> i come home, i'm exhausted, i haven't been sleeping. there is [ bleep ] in my bed. >> charged from the deep depths of the ocean. if you can believe you can [ bleep ] anywhere.

i'm really going to [ bleep ] you now. >> bring it on, bro. >> the playdo you want to forget for the rest of your life is the [ bleep ]. we have been airing. >> think on the phone -- >> yeah. >> i guess all of y'all wonder why i don't have to play fair. >> i guess we don't, [ bleep ]. >> sucker. >> [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. >> [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break, when we come back we'll present our confusing question of the day. where we ask the pedestrians the dumb question and they give even dumber answers, harrison ford, joan jett and the blackhearts. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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#1 dentist recommended listerine®... [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, glad you could make it. harrison ford, keri russell, and joan jett and the blackhearts were kind enough to be here. they're back stage warming up. it is freezing in here, we got an air conditioner really making use of it. and this is interesting. and virgin airlines is saying they're offering new services on their flights from the uk. live entertainment, they're planning to b put bands and comedians on the flights. they say the new in-flight entertainment will shake up domestic flying.

i have a better way to shake up domestic flying. how about making it more comfortable? how about instead of music, we do that. what a terrible gig for a comedian, too, on the plane. if you bomb, do you get tackled by the air marshal. you know, the problem with airline food folks -- oh, there it is, here it comes. are any of you watching the show "couples therapy" on vhi? this is where they round up a d and g and f level celebrities and put them in the house together. last week the founder of "girls gone wild" got in a big fight with flavor flav. he is on every one of these shows. he was mad at flavor for something or other and they had to be separated. well, this week, they made up. >> thank you, we hugged and made up. i really hope that it works out. >> the apology was not genuine to me. you know what i'm saying? i do like the guy. he is a cool guy and everything. but -- cool guys can end up being [ bleep ]. and that is why i call him [ bleep ] joe. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: well, that does actually make sense, yeah, yeah, that is right. one of the nicest things ever said about joe francis. this is surprising, public policy polling, a company that does surveys, they did a survey of republicans living in georgia and according to their findings, republicans living in georgia like paula deen more than they like martin luther king jr. 73% have a favorable opinion of paula deen, 28 unfavorable of martin luther king jr. to be fair, martin luther king jr.'s key lime pie recipe was not very good. but that is crazy, isn't it? >> especially because paula deen herself is an admirer of martin luther king jr. in fact, she named her last

cookbook, i have a dream sickle. but the paula deen controversy issue is a divisive issue. so we decided to use it to confuse people out on hollywood boulevard. so we went out on the street and asked a paula deen question, where do you stand on republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen during shark week, and does this negatively affect your opinion on obama care? and powerball? and here is what they had to say in response. it is our confusing question of the day. >> where do you stand on the georgia republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen than martin luther king jr. during shark week, and does this negatively affect your opinion of powerball obama care >> no, it doesn't affect me. i hope everybody receives their

benefits and everything works out for everybody. the benefits, kids and everyone. >> even during shark week? >> yes. >> where do you stand on the georgia republicans who say they have a higher opinion of paula deen than martin luther king jr. during shark week, and does it negatively affect your opinion of powerball obama care? >> yes, and no. >> explain yourself. >> well, yes to some of the things you said and no to the others. >> is powerball obama care good >> yes? country? >> what is the difference between blacks and whites? >> color. >> what else? >> they still bleed the same blood. so to tell you, we're married to two barbadians from the west indies, and we have been married for 24 years. >> were they bitten by sharks >> yes, i think so they work on the ship.

>> do you know about powerball obama care? >> no, think so -- >> it is a new system where if you buy a ticket you can win the powerball obama care, you can win free health care for life, benefits for $30 million. >> oh, i thought it was powerball -- that is good, i am so totally supporting that. so make sure y'all go out there and get those tickets. >> powerball obama care i think it has something to do with just the taxing on it or something like that. >> yeah, that is right. would you like to go out on a date? >> hahaha. >> jimmy: that is the most confusing question of them all. tonight on the show, keri russell is here, we have music from joan jett and the blackhearts. and we'll be right back with harrison ford. so stay with us. [ cheers and applause ] ,, didn't phone it in.

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new movie. it is called "austenland" opening friday. keri russell is here, and then with music from their forthcoming album, it comes forth october 1st. it is called unvarnished. joan jett and the blackhearts. my darling oprah winfrey will be here next week, ashton kutcher. adam perry lang, a lot of people with three names. we'll have music from the wanted, and big sean. our first guest tonight, making action figures that bear his face, you can see him with gary oldman and liam hemsworth,

please say hello to harrison ford. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm good, i'm good. traffic is awful -- >> jimmy: traffic is bad? >> i just got here. >> jimmy: i thought you traveled primarily by helicopter, is that not the case? >> you don't have a pad. >> jimmy: we have pens. well, it is very good to see you. i know o-- you're on a big vacation this summer that i wanted to ask you about. >> yeah, i took my son and my wife and i, we went to peru. and we were on the amazon river for a while. >> jimmy: nice. >> and then we went to brazil,

we were in the part that was the wetlands, really beautiful. >> jimmy: when you go on a trip like that, will you stay in the waldorf peru? or will you stay in a hut? >> no, no. on the -- in peru, we were on a boat on the amazon river -- >> jimmy: you stayed on the boat. >> we stayed on the boat, with some other people, it wasn't like us on a yacht, it was kind of a real person's -- >> jimmy: right. i know what you're saying. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you could fit a yacht on the amazon? oh, you could. >> yeah, yeah, it is huge, it is wild there. >> jimmy: well, you brought something -- >> well, you know, they were asking me about were there any animals? this animal was in brazil. >> jimmy: this is one animal or

two animals? >> that is one animal. that is a giant anteater. >> jimmy: that is a giant anteater. >> and it is about almost five and a half feet long, isn't that weird looking? you probably can't see it from here. >> jimmy: this is the beak? >> and -- >> jimmy: i'm not a zoologist. >> no, this isn't what you said it was. that is his nose, and that is how he eats ants, he sticks that wherever ants are. and sucks them out. >> jimmy: i could use one of these in my kitchen. >> but he has the weirdest fur, looks like he has those cowboy fur chaps on. very weird. >> jimmy: are they scared of people? how close -- >> no, i was three or four feet away. i took that with my cell phone.

it is not a great thing. >> jimmy: oh, you did, really? that is strange. you really are indiana jones, imagine that, running around photographing animals with your cell phone? wait a minute, you're not indiana jones? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, my whole childhood has been thrown into kind of a vortex now. >> probably too late to straighten you out. >> jimmy: you are rumored -- there are rumors you will be part of a very high profile film series. >> anchor man -- >> jimmy: yes, anchor man, that is the one i was thinking of. >> yes. >> jimmy: yes, actually there were a few i was thinking of. not only the obvious one, anchor man. you're an anchor man 2 -- did you shoot that already? >> yeah, i was there for a whole day. >> jimmy: oh, you were? okay. you work fast. >> all the way to atlanta for one day.

and no money. >> jimmy: no money. >> well, a little bit of money. >> jimmy: did you do it for the love of the original anchor man. >> i never saw the original anchor man. >> jimmy: well, it is good, you should check it out. >> i had no idea who those guys were. i -- and i still don't know who they are. or what they think they're doing. >> jimmy: well, what about the expendables? >> because it is clearly unreleasable. >> jimmy: you're one day on the set you determined it shouldn't come out? >> i have been doing this for a while. i know what works and doesn't work. >> jimmy: what about the expendables? there were two. have you seen the first two expendables? >> why would i go to -- >> jimmy: well, you're going to be in expendables 3, so i would think -- >> yeah, i am. >> jimmy: so expendables -- you didn't see the expendables or expendables 2? >> no, i'm trying to find time

to see one of them. >> jimmy: do you want to know what happens? i can tell you, catch you right up. a lot of explosions, let's just say that, yeah. >> yeah, i really don't care what -- i don't care what it is. >> jimmy: well, you have a new movie that you probably don't care about also, called "paranoia" true? >> no, i care a lot about that one, that is why i'm here. >> jimmy: well, we're going -- >> i didn't just come here because i feel -- yeah, i missed you or anything. >> jimmy: really? had nothing to do with that? that is interesting, i thought you were just coming to say hi. >> it is business. >> jimmy: take a break, more business with harrison ford. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ,,

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your health, it will know who you are. it's all ours. >> that is "paranoia." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that a bowl cut or skin head wig they put a little bit of flor fuzz on my head. >> jimmy: that is your head? bad trip to super cuts or -- >> no, i just thought it would work for this kind of guy. this guy is a powerful, rich -- you know, cell phone guy, what do we call those -- >> jimmy: guys, a cell phone man. >> he has this giant conglomerate, and they have the cell phones and his nemesis is gary oldman, he is caught -- it is a thriller.

liam hemsworth is terrific. and they're caught between these two guys. it is a thriller. >> jimmy: it is a thriller. >> so i can't tell you -- you have to go see it. in order to -- >> jimmy: how did your wife like the shaved head? the shorn locks? >> not so much. >> jimmy: not so much, really? i would be worried if i shaved my head that it would never come back. >> they usually come back, yeah. >> jimmy: well, maybe in the front, but i don't know about the back. part of it would come back. we had dinner a couple of months ago. >> yeah. >> jimmy: a dinner party at a mutual friend's house. and that was a fun time, right? >> yeah, it was -- >> jimmy: i mean, it seemed like we were getting along, right? >> no, actually that is what i thought at the time. i thought -- i thought you know, it is nice. because i come here all the time. >> jimmy: yeah, you have been here a few times. >> whenever you ask me. >> jimmy: uh-huh, well, we

always ask me. >> and i thought well, now, we can have a chance to get to know each other. >> jimmy: did you really think that, because i thought maybe we -- >> well, i thought we did. you spent more time talking to don rickles than you did me, and i think that is fine. >> jimmy: well, right, respect for our elders, you know. >> well, i thought we were getting along. and i was really kind of surprised that -- you didn't invite me to the wedding. >> jimmy: oh -- but i wouldn't even think you would go to your own wedding to be honest with you. >> that is the way my wife feels, about my performance at the wedding. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> but you know, it is not unredeem -- you know, i would really like to be more -- >> jimmy: yeah -- >> so i got you something for your -- i got a little something for your birthday.

>> jimmy: oh, you did? well, my birthday is not actually until november. so that is really nice. >> i thought it was like -- >> jimmy: no, no, it -- oh, thank you, thank you. >> it is a little -- >> jimmy: should i open it now? >> it is -- >> jimmy: this is mine? okay, great. >> all right. >> jimmy: did you wrap this yourself? >> yeah, i mean, i was a little -- >> jimmy: oh, all right. a hawaiian shirt, that is nice. it is big, huh? >> that is the way they wear them. >> jimmy: i will probably need a smaller size, but thank you so much. i will try it on if you want just to show you it is a little big. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: feel a little bit like i'm working at a circle k store, you know? thank you -- yeah, you see what i'm saying. >> it is perfect. >> jimmy: it is kind of huge, where did you get it? i will take it back and swap it out. thank you, wow, it is almost

like a muumuu, thank you very much. where did you get this -- >> you can't take it back. it is -- i sort of got it at a last minute -- >> jimmy: from where? >> where is that guy -- from that guy! >> jimmy: oh! [ laughter ] you got the shirt from the guy? i can't really -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't take his shirt. come get your shirt here. this is actually his shirt. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, that is nice of you, but. how much did you pay him for it? >> i think that is between him and me. but i -- >> jimmy: how much did he pay you for it? they didn't pay him anything -- got to meet harrison ford. >> jimmy: hold on a second. where are your pants? why don't you have any pants on? >> i asked him for his autograph.

>> jimmy: and you asked for his pants? >> i needed a gift for my cousin. it is his bar mitzvah. >> jimmy: give the man his pants back, you can't give your cousin a gift like that. you know, there is a mall across the street. you can go put those on over there. thank you very much. well, thank you -- it is really the thought that counts. >> it is the thought that counts. and i was late. >> jimmy: well, you know what? i really appreciate it. thank you so much. harrison ford, everybody. "paranoia" the latest film. we'll be right back with keri russell. ♪ ♪

>> i'm guillermo, i'm going to see if i can survive in the woods with my jerky and my friend, yaya. the most important thing you need to survive in the woods is water, right? >> yeah. >> now we're going to go look for water. i have an idea. wait. this water has to be very, very deep. i don't see any water. i'm getting tired of this thing. >> come help me, help me! don't sit, come help me. >> i think i see a little bit of water, look! >> why are my shoes over there? >> because in the book, it says we should have a rain catcher, and your foot is bigger than mine. >> now what should we do? >> we wait. i have an idea.

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>> jimmy: hi, there, still to come with joan jett and the blackhearts, you know our next guest from "the americans", her latest is called "austenland" opening august 16th. please welcome keri russell. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: it is very good to see you, you made a movie with harrison ford, didn't you? >> i did. >> jimmy: he gives the worst gifts, really terrible. >> he would give me really good gifts. >> jimmy: oh, he did? no hawaiian shirts --

>> no, no, no. >> jimmy: what did he give you? >> how many good things did he give you? >> i can't even count how many did presents he gave me. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> everything is good. >> jimmy: now i wanted to ask you about star wars, i didn't get to ask you with j.j. abrams, his first big deal, will you be in star wars? >> i hope, can i be? can i be? i don't know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you feel like star wars is now for some reason more popular than it was? >> it is massive, i mean, my kids watch it. they're one and a half and six, but my son is so into star wars. he is so into it. but now there is this new crazy thing, do you guys know about this? legos, he is so into legos, it is now star wars and indiana jones, all of these different characters within lego.

>> jimmy: yes. >> and actually, i was sitting on the bed with my son the other day, and so within star wars lego he had this book with all the different characters. he said i want to tell you a secret. of course as a parent, you work so hard not to be so over-eager, you're like sure -- and he said, i love her. and i was like who do you love? princess laia. but can you guess which princess laia he might like? >> jimmy: oh, the one that jabba the hut has stripped down to nothing? oh, really? >> he was five actually when this happened. and i said -- i looked at the picture of lego, princess laia in this outfit, and said yeah, she is very beautiful. what is it you love so much about her and he pointed to her red lips and this part. i was like wow! >> jimmy: yes, what a horny little devil you have.

can you imagine if years from now he develops an appreciation for big rectangular women with pointy shoulders. >> with yellow faces, pure yellow. i know, it is really -- >> jimmy: you were pregnant when you made this movie, austenland. >> that is true. >> jimmy: which must be an interesting thing for a kid when they grow up, and say oh, i was in my mom. >> so creepy, it is so creepy. >> jimmy: home movies before you're even -- >> i know, that must be so strange. but it is true. i was walking the english countryside with willa in my belly. and this is so bizarre, we used to say what should we name the baby? we didn't know of it was a girl or boy. and he would say milky -- >> jimmy: milky? >> even the person who tied me up every night. whoa, that sounded really weird. [ laughter ] >> too much of my personal life. she would lace me up in these corsets, and she would go is that hurting milky?

>> jimmy: you didn't even go with the middle name. i think the older kid should be allowed to name the child. >> do you have an older sibling? >> jimmy: no, i'm the oldest, that i why i think that. >> what would your brother and sister name you? >> jimmy: well, i had a parakeet that i named sharafy, to make him sound friendlier. >> i don't know why the "y" makes him sound friendlier. >> jimmy: no, it is just idiotic, but you get names from your siblings. what is austenland about? >> the idea is this sort of lonely heart girl who is obsessed with all things jane austen, sort of stuck in her life. and decides to go pay her entire life savings to go to this place which is like a sleepaway camp resort, where people dress in all austen gear.

and there are hired actors to pretend and flirt with you like jane austen characters. and for the end, you are provided a ball and for one of those to propose to you. >> jimmy: that sounds like the bachelorette, but it sounds like a good idea. >> isn't it sort of great and embarrassing all at the same time? i love that guys have strip clubs, but we want to be romanced by literary figures and then have sex. >> jimmy: yeah, right, sure. we don't want to have sex at the strip clubs, though, so i think we're getting short changed on this deal. but it does sound like a good idea. and maybe for the guys you could have a stone cold steve austin land. wrestling. >> i like that, i like that. yeah, i like this. yeah. >> jimmy: the movie is called "austenland" opening august 16th, in limited release, okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: keri russell, everybody. we'll be right back.

[ cheers and applause ] >> the jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony.

>> the new album "unvarnished" comes out october 1st. here with the song "any weather" joan jett and the blackhearts! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey why can't we let it go can't stay the status quo hey we go along to get along that's why i wrote ♪

♪ this song hey i wanna say i wanna say can't stand to live this way i wanna say we can stay together through ♪ ♪ any weather we can stay together we'll make it through whatever if we love i sense you feel ♪ ♪ the same no time to assign the blame hey we'll go and find some space to dance some ♪ ♪ real romance let's dare to take that chance i know you know i know you know that it's the ♪ ♪ way to go i know ya know we

can stay together through any weather we can stay together through anything ♪ ♪ hey we can stay together through any weather we can stay together we'll make it through whatever whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh we can stay together through any weather ♪ ♪ we can stay together through anything hey we can stay together through any weather we

can stay together ♪ ♪ through anything if we love hey we can stay together through any weather if we love we can stay together ♪ ♪ we'll make it through whatever if we love through anything if we love yeah anything if we love through ♪ anything hey [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to thank harrison ford, keri russell. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. that album is called unvarnished. it's out october 1st. you can see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com. once again, joan jett and the

blackhearts ♪ i don't give a damn 'bout my tonight on "nightline," they're searing images not easily forgotten, was it a chemical attack. is this the end of the arab spring? our martha raddatz is there. and this is not your typical sports car, going from zero to 60 in seconds. and it may even be the safest car in america. we hit the road with the man on a mission to change the way we

drive forever. and come under fire. stand down now! >> how a brave mother stopped the gunman, just the latest heroic woman to diffuse the violent situation. keep it right here, america. "nightline" is back in just 60 seconds.